Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Brokebitch lesson #676: honesty is the best policy

I'm your shorter, ok extremely shorter version of honest abe.(oh and I don't have facial hair or a presidency under my belt...just in case you noticed and I don't wanna be lying)honesty is free but more than just it being a chincy price, it is freeing for the soul. It takes a lot less thinking and energy to be honest. I've noticed if you're honest when you're rude and say I'm sorry I'm a little bit of a bitch today, you gain a smile and empathy from someone. we all have our brokebitchy moments. Now I don't think honesty is appopriate at a time like returning from a restroom break at work saying "my pee stinks after I ate asparagus, nasty" This may put an unflattering picture of you peeing on a toliet stinking up the one toilet bathroom. Now Nancy who really needed to potty is not only not going to go but could suffer a bladder infection from this news. So back to honesty, even when you say too much like when Harriet asked if the skirt made her look fat and you answered um ya why did you think you could wear something where the zipper is clearly popped open Harriet? In response, Harriet hears in her head people chanting'harriet tubby-MAN harriet tubby-MAN' from her youth and then begins to cry. You must then apologize for being so honest and compliment an outfit that looked great on her. Honesty isn't perfect. However, harriet now knows to not wear that skirt ever again. So in the end Honesty is the best policy. Now lets say your bestie Sally wanted you to give her $2,500 of loan money you received. She alluded to this multiple times makeing you feel uncomfortable. So you say to Sally, I love you and don't mind lending small amounts of money in a crunch but can't use the loan for that. It makes me uncomfortable to share my good news of my loan if you're going to take inappropriate advantage of the loan and friendship. Sally can apologize and understand where her bestie is coming from and move on to things that matter like fitting into skinny jeans by the weekend!

I'm honest to a fault but atleast you know where I stand even if it is after I peed with an alarming asparagus aroma....hey! I had to because it's a diaretic and I've got to hit up Mirage looking hott this weekend to party it up...where I'll honestly be a little intoxicated ;)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

brokeskinnybitch.

I can only control money to a certain extent. I work three jobs. I don't eat out. I buy groceries on sale. coupons are my survivol tool. While focusing on what I didn't have, money, I ate my feelings. I apparently have a lot of feelings to the tune of 30 pounds! I'm back on the Weight Watchers wagon. I don't have to be a brokechubbybitch! I catch fruits and veggies on sale plus not eating out helps tremendously. Really when you think about it, this I can control! Who doesn't love having control in their life? I read a qoute "if you keep looking at the closed door you'll miss the doors that are open" I'm walking through the open door a little lighter on my way to the destination brokeskinnybitch! ;)I figure that's getting me a little closer to the destination ritchskinnybitch.

xoxo
MM