I feel completely uncomfortable in my own skin. The skin has stretched into a person I don't know. In fact, I don't see her when I look in the mirror. After taking a video of my "before" I realized I have let my body get out of control. Is that really me??
Yes, I felt the pounds pile on. Yes, I enjoyed the chocolate cake. The cookies. The fries. Ever since the traumatic event of getting let go from my job (due to budget cuts) I've gone to the kitchen for solace. I've earned this physique to be honest.
Now that I realize who I'm actually looking at in the mirror, it's time to act. It's time to control my eating and lose this extra baggage. It's baggage of being sad. Feeling unworthy. Sometimes even hating myself. How do I let go of the comfort of food?
I feel the weight when I bend over to tie my shoes. I see the shiny Lycra showing in my shirts because it's being stretched. I feel the stretchy pants waistband dig into my stomach.
I want to be better. I want to let go of my comfort food. What's holding me back? Food has become my partner in crime. Food is always there when I need it. It doesn't break up with me because it's not ready to commit. Let's face it, you have to eat so quitting is not an option. Apparently, I'm very dedicated to eating!
I miss a body where I felt good. I miss the glow of eating healthy. I miss chairs not squeaking when I sit down. I miss how men looked at me when I looked my best.
I'm doing a "glow up". I've whitened my teeth. I've gotten Botox. I'm getting my Microblading touched up. I am reading a new book to improve myself, "You're a Badass" by Jen Sincero. I'm going to the gym with a friend weekly as well! Now let's get the eating under control.
Let's start with portion control. Let's go back to the basics of eating more vegetables and protein. Maybe I've tried for the past 6 months to be too perfect. It's not about perfection but about consistency! Let's do this!
xo,
Mandi
