Tuesday, June 26, 2012

brokebitch scenerio #445: you get what you DON'T pay for...

so I got a call from a local chropractor saying I won a free 30 min massage.  I'm so tense you would need an electric knife to cut the tension. So I say yes, please!  Plus I was spoiled when I had money and got a massage weekly, my massage therapist was on speed dial.  They told me I'd just meet with the Dr. so he could talk to me before the massage.  I thought ok I figured there was something to sell me.  I thought hey when I'm richbitch I may even need a chiropractor so what the hell.  I showed up at 3 on the dot for my appointment but 25 minutes later I was still waiting!  So, I stepped outside of the office and asked how long it would be as I needed to get back to the radio station.  So I played on my iphone.

 He came in I put the iphone down and shook his hand.  He said "nice to meet you" but his gestures seem irritated as he was very short with me.  "go to the edge of the table"  he touches my neck"do you have headaches?" I said "um...no I don't think so, not often".  He says "ok lay on your stomache"  I'm thinking what's this leading to, do they do happy endings, cause this could get wierd?! lol  Then he felt my spine over my shirt so with a little disapointment of no happy ending;), I was relieved he wasn't doing something invasive! He asks, not looking at me, "you wanna do an adjustment today?"  I said "no I don't think so, just interested in a massage" Then he shows me a piece of paper he marked quickly.  I was not only walking lopsided but apparently my spine would make me die.  He said My top two notches are bad so they could cause insomnia, dizziness or even  A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. Um no, being a brokebitch could cause that when the bills roll in! ;)  Then my middle spine had issues and could cause lots of diseases like heart conditions, diabetes and more!  Also he said "you will be artheritic.  You will have arthritis in all these areas marked on your spine.  so in an abrasive voice "good luck!, apparently you don't care about your health, so why should I care!"  He shoved the paper at me and walked out the door with me, yes me SPEECHLESS! 

Then I step into the massage therapist room.  She was mousy and shaky.  I say I'm a little uncomfortable, he was really rude to me.  In a very shaky voice she said "um...I don't know...I do a good massage...I'm a very caring person...I'd be really good"  I instantly felt sorry for her! I had to stay this lady needs my help. I seriously now wonder if she's a battered woman at work!  I thought worst case scenerio, even better story for my blog.  She ended up doing great work!  I think her timidness made her care about doing a really good job.  She then said at the end, "the doctor is very good with his patients, he really cares"  Something a battered woman would say?  I tipped her $10 and made sure she knew she was amazing.

so I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. Please Lord, I realize I didn't get an adjustment but please let me live! so Brokebitch got what she didn't pay for, advice from DR. ASSHOLE. Apperently he hasn't got an adjustment for his ASSINE personality. Honestly, that will kill him before Arthritis does anything to me.

Love,

Mandi ;)

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